Seasons Greetings From The Ponting Family!!!!*
Happy holidays, everyone (except Poms!) We thought we’d take this opportunity to keep everyone up to date with what’s been a hectic 2010 for all! Can you believe that it’s nearly a whole year ago that we had the Yousuf family from Pakistan come to stay? It was a real honour to show our visitors from another culture around our great country, and they seemed to love the Aussie lifestyle! Especially the poker machines and betting shops.
The youngsters in the Ponting family have had another incredible year and we are all so proud of them – even if sometimes they make Ricky want to tear his hair out! Or punch them in the face until they learn to bowl straight! Only joking!!!! There’s definitely no punching in the Cricket Australia family now that Uncle Mervyn has moved away and got a new job killing animals at a petting zoo.
Drama of the year? Well, young Mitchell caused quite a stir when he came home with A TATTOO – of all things. But you know how boys can be when they get their first girlfriend. Aw, he’s blushing as Ricky types this! It goes without saying that he will be given all the love and patience in the world as he works really hard on trying to get back to bowling as we know he can, and not being a waste of oxygen! Only joking! He breathes carbon dioxide, like a plant.
At the other end of the age scale (!) in the Ponting family, it was great to see Great Uncle Huss showing everyone that you’re only as old as the woman you feel! Or cricket bat you feel in Huss’s case! His dedication is truly incredible at his age, and even if his memory is perhaps not quite what it was, you just try getting that bat out of his hand once he gets going. And thank goodness he is here to show the youngsters a thing or too!!
But there was sadness also this year, when another much-loved older companion – our faithful Openerhound Katto – went lame and had to be put out of his misery.
They say one door closes and another one opens, though, and there was a new addition to the family this year as we adopted a little orphaned boy called Xavier, who we are teaching how to bowl slow-left arm and do general odd-jobs around the place. We want him to know that he is loved every bit as much as all the other children and we will never abandon him. Or at least not if he stops wetting the bed! Only joking mate. It’s not because of the bed-wetting.
Still, let’s not dwell on the sad times, especially over this festive season, and give thanks for a pretty good year! There was the family trip to India, where we were doing quite well until we were robbed in Mohali and earlier in the year, a visit to England, which had its ups and downs, when some of the members of the leadership group were set upon by a gang of Pakistani youths.
Some of you may have heard that dad Ricky and mum Michael were having “some problems” – well, we’d just like to go on record and say “What marriage doesn’t?” in this day and age, but our love for each other is stronger than ever now, especially since Michael showed himself to have no leadership qualities whatsoever and be no threat at all to the head of the household! Only joking! Not really!!?!
But “that which does not kill us makes us stronger, so put on your Baggy Green and grab a tinny, you mug” as our much-missed Reverend Tugga used to say! One last bit of news this year: Mad Uncle Shane has returned from one of his “Gambling Adventures” in Las Vegas and may join up with the family for Boxing Day! Exciting times.
Sending you the warmest compliments of the season to you and your families, except those in the media!
Ricky and the Ponting Family
*Online Christmas Card Designed by Shane Watson Artistic And Hair Studio
By Alan Tyers. Need a Christmas stocking filler? How about the very funny and beautifully illustrated W.G. Grace Ate My Pedalo, by Alan Tyers and Beach, published by Wisden www.wggraceatemypedalo.com. Or follow Alan’s Tweets about The Ashes, if that’s your bag @alantyers
Read more on the Ashes:
Lawrence Booth watches Andrew Strauss’ Ashes mask slip
John Stern remembers the ghost of a coach past
Daniel Brigham says England will miss Broad more than they think
Edward Craig’s second Test awards
See the second Test in pictures at TWC’s Gallery
Ashes live: Sam Collins on that final session
John Stern tries to convince himself that England can actually do it
What the Aussie papers said about day one at Adelaide – it’s not nice
Alex Bowden on Australia’s troubles with depression
Gideon Haigh picks his best Australian Ashes XI
Lawrence Booth on the UDRS